Self Help Literature Review

This article is a review of various sexuality self help books available on campus for students at Clark University. These five titles have been selected based on subject matter. 

Sex matters for women

The book talks about orgasms, discussing the tyranny of the orgasm which is placing the orgasm at the center of human sexuality (Foley and Kope, 304). The book advocates for self-exploration and communication, assessing the benefits of embracing one's sexuality.

“Culture greatly influences sexual learning. Anthropologists [...] have noted that women coming from cultures encouraging sexual exploration and assertiveness experience orgasm more readily and with greater satisfaction than women coming from cultures that encourage modest, passive behavior” (306).

In regards to socialization the book makes an interesting remark when talking about women being too self-conscious to experience an orgasm. The authors suggest women can find it difficult to act outside of their gender. Their perceived and learned passivity might make them refrain from certain behaviors, such as moaning, because the lack of self-control associated with orgasms makes them step out of the imposed behavior for women (307).

Virgin sex for girls, a no-regrets guide to safe and healthy sex

Language is an essential part of cultures across the globe; messages based in language, as well as other forms of communication, carry specific cultural ideas. An interesting point this book makes in one chapter is in regards to our use of language - "since men have so many more phrases for masturbation, it’s obvious that male masturbation is seen as more important and acceptable in our culture for men” (Luadzers,156)

Phrases for women include self touching/loving/stimulation/pleasuring, paddling the pink canoe, rubbing off, combing the clit, vibrating off

Phrases for men include jacking/jerking/beating/getting off, choking the chicken, spanking the money, beat the meat, flog the hog, relieving yourself, yanking the plank, bobbing the dolphin and many others (155).

The book is advocating that women realize their sexual potentials; they are encouraged to explore, to talk to their partners and are told that their sexual pleasure is important and given advice on how to increase the frequency of their orgasms. The male counterpart of this book, the Virgin sex for boys guide also focuses the discussion surrounding orgasms on the (assumed female) partner's pleasure and difficulties in achieving it. This may be because the experts recognize the disproportionately low rates of orgasmic response in females and by drawing attention to this matter they are educating couples on how to overcome this inequality in sexual pleasure.

Hooking up, a girl’s all-out guide to sex&sexuality

The book contains several personal anecdotes which help with connecting the reader and writer and establishing patterns for common experiences with female sexuality in hookup culture, the current cultural trend in young adults. 

The author tackles the issue of gendered shame in regards to sexual self-exploration - “when I was younger, I thought that there was something very wrong about masturbating. Every time I did it, I felt guilty, dirty, and ashamed. [...] when all of my guy friends started talking about how they masturbated, I kept my mouth shut” (Madison,44). 

Madison also hints at the linguistic gap in vocabularies and gendered expressions. “As a girl, it can be hard to talk about masturbation, even though many guys talk about it all the time. Maybe it’s easier for guys to talk about because they have eight thousand cool nicknames for masturbating.” (45) The language differences are reflective of cultural and social normative assertions about male and female sexuality. The society is, as Madison, states reluctant to talk about female masturbation; it is a bigger taboo than male masturbation in our culture (45).

Our reluctance to talk about female masturbation influences our perception of the process. Madison notes that our heteronormative ideas about sex make us believe female masturbation mimics penetrative intercourse (46).

Paradoxically, although female orgasms and masturbation are not socially acceptable, women are still expected to have or fake an orgasm. Most girls do not tell their partners they don't have orgasms because they fear that their partner will be frustrated and made to feel as a bad lover (46).

The good girl's guide to bad girl sex

The book begins with an anecdote of a young girl who is forced to display passive sexuality due to her gender "Do you want boys to think that you're loose? That you're cheap?" (Keesling, 5-6). However, the author proposes the model of the "bad girl", whose sexual pleasure is unbeatable "A fully evolved Bad Girl can have an epic sexual encounter in ten minutes, whereas a woman stuck in her Good Girl can have intercourse for an hour and still be left feeling unfulfilled" (10). The reader would gather from this introduction that the capacity to achieve orgasm under any circumstance is a matter of behavior. This assertion can promote self advocacy for women, but it also places a strong emphasis on always experiencing sexual pleasure. Women having inconsistent sexual experiences may feel as failures if they cannot manage to turn into a "Bad Girl" who is in charge of her sexuality.

The Bad Girl is declared as intensely orgasmic by Keesling (13).

The book continues to put the emphasis of sexual pleasure on women's capacity and responsibility to achieve. A chapter discusses Kegel exercises and explains a few routines. The author concludes by expressing her appreciation of Kegel exercises as they have "helped non-orgasmic women become orgasmic" (41).

One last discussion is on climaxing. The chapter begins with another personal anecdote - of a sexually dissatisfied woman (153). The chapter features 10 exercises with full explanations to maximize the potential for sexual pleasure and orgasms (157). It is interesting to note that 7 of the exercises are for women to practice on themselves and 3 for women to practice on men so that men may achieve orgasm, however there are no exercises any responsibility in the hands of men.

S.E.X., The all-you-need-to-know progressive sexuality guide to get you through high school and college

This work is highly praised by critics for being so comprehensive. Reading the sections on the "popular mechanics" of various sex acts, I decided to compare the sections on cunnilingus and fellatio. Comparing the two sections reveals some gendered ideas assumed by the author.

Firstly, the section on cunnilingus is shorter than than on fellatio. The section on cunnilingus gives specific, objective advice of what most women prefers and techniques (156). The tone is neutral, the information is factual. The section of fellatio is longer, assumes a more familiar tone and language and seems directly addressed to the female reader. While the section on cunnilingus seems to encourage the act, the section of fellatio has a passage addressing the myth that all men love receiving oral sex most of all (157). This specific passage is trying to educate women in thinking of oral sex as a practice that can be enjoyed by any and all genders (157). It is interesting that this note was included in the section with a female audience, while the section with the male audience did not address the gender disparity in performing and receiving oral sex. The general impression of the two sections is that men are not accustomed by performing cunnilingus on women, but most women have performed fellatio.

Reference:

• Corinna, Heather. S.E.X.: The All-you-need-to-know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You through High School and College. New York: Marlowe, 2007.
• Foley, Sallie, and Sally A. Kope. Sex Matters for Women: A Complete Guide to Taking Care of Your Sexual Self. New York: Guilford Press, 2002.
• Keesling, Barbara. The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex: An Indispensable Resource for Pleasure and Seduction. New York: M. Evans, 2001.
• Luadzers, Darcy. Virgin Sex for Girls: A No-regrets Guide to Safe and Healthy Sex. New York: Hatherleigh Press, 2006.
• Madison, Amber. Hooking Up: A Girl's All-out Guide to Sex & Sexuality. Amherst, N.Y.: Prometheus Books, 2006.

Women in Gynecology Textbooks

The Scully and Bart piece published in 1973 analyses 27 gynecology texts written from 1943 to 1972 by looking at the viewpoint presented. The scholars conclude that the literature remains oriented towards maintaining the male-dominated, traditional views of sexuality despite the revolutionary findings of Kinsey, Masters and Johnson (Scully and Bart, 1048). Overall, ideas of the centrality of motherhood in women's lives persists, while men as defined by their active sexual responses and desires.

The authors note that "one's perspectives are constrained by one's place in the social structure and thus gynecologists may not adequately represent the interests of the group they are supposed to attend and advocate" (Scully and Bart, 1045). An overwhelming majority of male practitioners would mean that the field lacks a female perspective on what is a female health issue.  Considering that 40 years ago, when this article was published, over 90% of gynecologists were male, it is not hard to imagine that their academic writings on the subject reflected their male perspectives and portrayed female sexuality in a way that maintained traditional sex-role stereotypes (Scully and Bart, 1045). 

MOTHERHOOD
Gynecology texts from 1943 to 1972 revolve around the idea that women as "anatomically destined to reproduce, nurture" (Scully and Bart, 1045). One text refers to the experience of motherhood as an "urge" (Scully and Bart, 1046). This biological explanation is used to define the role of females in a very strict way which does not allow for possible deviant behaviors and attitudes. In the medical literature, the natural inclination for motherhood is balanced by sexual pleasure, considered "entirely secondary or even absent" (Scully and Bart, 1046). In other words, the automatic, biological female response is seeking motherhood, while sexual response is not important or present as women as frigid.

FRIGIDITY
The texts dating from this period assume that women are "almost universally generally frigid" (Scully and Bart, 1046). Their role in sexual health is defined as constricted to motherhood, while men are defined as active and pursuing their sexual drives. This was done, in the case of women, by reporting that the vagina was the main erogenous zone, even after Kinsey debunked the myth of vaginal orgasms (Scully and Bart, 1047). The vagina was considered the "mature response", while the role of the clitoris was greatly diminished and linked to immaturity and frigidity (Scully and Bart, 1047). This generalized female sexual unresponsiveness, the passivity, was for some authors part of the core of the female personality (Scully and Bart, 1048). The construction of the myth of female frigidity was in opposition to the active male sex, who had an insatiable appetite for intercourse (Scully and Bart, 1046).

MALE SEXUAL DRIVE
These texts in a woman-oriented field claimed that women are biologically designed to keep their husbands happy, they are to at the control of their male counterparts (Scully and Bart, 1045). Sexually, women are frigid, unable to perceive or care about pleasure, but men have a much greater appetite and capacity for intercourse. So, their sexual contacts already have a paradoxical nature, however they were greatly encouraged. Gynecologists were told to suggest that patients, unresponsive in nature, should deceive their partners by using innocent simulation (Scully and Bart, 1046). Faking sexual interest or an orgasm was part of making your husband happy. 

"The frequency of intercourse depends entirely upon the male sex drive ... The bride should be advised to allow her husband's sex drive to set their pace and she should attempt to gear hers satisfactorily to his."(Scully and Bart, 1048).

This was advice given to young women in 1970, a time was less than 30% of women had premarital sex (CDC, 1991). Men were described in the literature as wanting to dominate and subjugate women(Scully and Bart, 1048). It means that the submissive behavior was natural, but for women it was also learned behavior, as a means of social control. The norm was that women had to adapt to the male response their husbands exhibited or else there was a "real [medical] problem" (Scully and Bart, 1048).

INTENTIONAL SELECTIVITY
The article notes the rigidity in textbooks along the studied decades. After Kinsey, Masters and Johnson made their discoveries in human sexuality, most textbooks cherry-picked the data to present their points of view. Result? Most books included some details pertaining to male sexuality, but failed to include any of the discoveries on female sexuality such as the myth of the vaginal orgasm or the existence of female multiple orgasms (Scully and Bart, 1047). This level of selectivity of results leads the authors to characterize the general tone of gynecology literature as having a male bias (Scully and Bart, 1048). The evidence does indeed point to severe opposition to change in mentalities concerning human sexuality. Women's sexuality is barely researched and discussed, although the lack of knowledge can be detrimental for public health. 

FOREVER MALE FIELD?
The article dates back from 1973 and we are seeing changes. While almost two thirds of ob-gyn doctors are male, the majority of those training are women.The increased supply of female doctors can benefit research and policy making by bringing a new perspective and patients can feel like their doctors can empathize with them. However, the current demand for ob-gyn doctors is skewed towards the female applicants, their male counterparts feel unwelcome in a job market that is searching for female doctors.  http://www.nytimes.com/2001/02/07/us/women-s-health-is-no-longer-a-man-s-world.html


RELATION TO ORGASMS
The literature has changed from the 1970s, but many of these deeply embedded beliefs have carried over to this generation, some have turned into other forms of controlling and underplaying female sexuality. Female orgasms are not discussed, are considered nonexistent, unimportant. The problem with medical literature that is not accurate is that is reinforces gendered social behaviors and attitudes, instead of objective results. Beliefs and stereotypes are heavily used used in social interactions, thus it is no surprise that these are some of the most popular ideas in regards to female orgasms we currently hold seem to stem back from a few generations ago  http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health-pictures/dr-laura-berman-top-10-female-orgasm-myths.aspx#01



Reference:
Scully, Diana, and Pauline Bart. "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Orifice: Women in Gynecology Textbooks." In American Journal of Sociology, 1045-1050. Jan. 1973 ed. Vol. 78. University of Chicago Press.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 

Current Trends Premarital Sexual Experience Among Adolescent Women -- United States, 1970-1988. 1991

 http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00001869.htm

Lesbians Have Orgasms More Than Straight Women, Bisexual Women May Have Less

    In the December, 1994 volume of Off Our Backs, a peer-reviewed journal of contemporary women's issues, a short article, without an author's name attached was published entitled, "Lesbians More Likely to Have Orgasms." More appropriately, it would have been titled "Women Who Have Sex With Women More Likely to Have Orgasms", as it was reporting on the National Lesbian and Bisexual Women's Health Survey, put out by the Lesbian Health Clinic,  of lesbian and bisexual women (4).  In any case, it was discovered that, using another study that asked heterosexual women about their orgasms, that 65% of lesbian and bisexual women regularly experienced orgasm during sex, compared to 26% of heterosexual women (4).

    This actually makes a lot of sense, because we know from previous studies reviewed here, that women are socialized from a young age to put their partner's s pleasure before their own,  including sexual pleasure, and we know from Kimmel's chapter on social construction, that socialization has a powerful influence on the way people think about themselves and others, and act. If women consider their partner's sexual pleasure the most important thing, and men are not socialized this way, as been shown in other studies discussed on this blog, then in a heterosexual relationship, it makes sense that women don't orgasm very often. However, when both partners are women and they are both socialized to put the other's sexual pleasure before their own, it's no wonder they both enjoy sex more! (Perhaps to answer Mary D. Pellaneur's question of whether it's men or women who need to change their attitudes about sex- should women care less about men's pleasure? should men care more about women's?- this study would suggest both partners prioritizing the other's pleasure gets good results!) Furthermore, we know from Maines' book that the majority of women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone, and need clitoral stimulation, and sex between women definitely emphasizes the clitoral. 

When another study was done twenty years later, in 2014, in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, that compared sexual pleasure between heterosexual, bisexual, and lesbian men and women, and was covered by the Huffington Post by Cavan Sieczkowski, it was discovered that not only were men still more likely to orgasm then women (85% vs. 61%- so the number of even heterosexual women orgasming has increased significantly since 1994!), but lesbians were still more likely to orgasm then heterosexual women- 74% to 61%. The gap is closing, but lesbians still orgasm fairly significantly more often, so the above factors should still be present as well- women are still socialized to prioritize others over themselves, and men are not. A reason why the gap might be closing, is that men might be more encouraged than now than before to take women's needs into consideration, women may be in better places to advocate for themselves more, and also other forms of sexual pleasure might be becoming more popular. (The article is entitled, "Lesbians Are Having More Orgasms Than Straight Women.")

What's different, and interesting, is that bisexual women orgasm only 58% of the time, which is not only lower than the percentage for heterosexual women by just a little bit, but also lower than bisexual women's orgasm rate in 1994, and I can't think of why this is the case.

Any ideas?

"The Moral Significance of Female Orgasm" Review

    In her article, "The Moral Significance of the Female Orgasm: Toward Sexual Ethics That Celebrates Women’s Sexuality”, published in a 1993, in volume 9 of Journal of Feminist Studies of Religion, Mary D. Pellauer suggests important questions concerning the orgasm that she believes the feminist movement and women working on women’s sexuality and experiences in academia, should address. Published in 1993, this is the earliest of the academic articles that I will be reviewing, which is why it is also the first I am reviewing. It will be interesting, moving forward, to see the extent to which the questions Pellauer suggests here, are addressed and answered. In this particular piece, she does not attempt to answer many of the questions she poses, leaving it largely open for other writers and researchers.

        I don’t know that this diminishes the article’s significance, as some of the questions posed, just by nature of them being asked, complicate or nuance the traditional narrative that surrounds woman’s orgasm. Some of these questions are: What are the differences between women who find talk of orgasm exciting, and are willing to participate in discussions, and those who feel that they’ve talked about it too much, and do not want to hear about it? (165). Does the ability to have orgasms confer moral status? (165). Can sex without orgasm still be good sex? (165). Is orgasm a male-dominated standard for evaluating sex? (165). How do your backgrounds inform our orgasmic experiences? (167-170). Should we ask “should woman have orgasms?” and should the answer be yes? (177). Should women take orgasms more for granted, or should men take them less for granted? (179). Interestingly, in 2014, over twenty years later, I don’t think there are conclusive answers to any of these questions. These are all still relevant today.

     She does attempt to make some assertions, in the form of guidelines for discussions about orgasm, which can be briefly laid out. She argues that as important as it is to correct misconceptions about the female orgasm, it is also imperative that we “create more adequate accounts of female sexuality”. (161). And that is what she begins to do here. She also emphases the importance of the fact that women, unlike men, do not take orgasm for granted in their sexual relations, and encourages us to investigate the causes and consequences for this. (162-165). She stresses that is important when we discuss the significance of orgasm, to remember women who have not or cannot orgasm, and not marginalize their experience or shame them for it. (181).

       She also suggests “six important elements” in orgasmic experience, that she feels are important both to the experience, and investigations of that experience. There are: (1) “being here-and-now” (how “in the moment” one is during sex, and how varied sexual likes/dislikes/needs can be depending on specific circumstances), (2) the varieties of the orgasmic sensation, (3) the experience of ecstasy, (4) vulnerability, (5) power, and (6) the fact that, again, none of this, for women, is taken for granted.  (170-175).

      She makes a second list as well, of four “phonological problems”, or problems that she experiences or anticipates in discussing the female orgasm. They are: (1) that orgasms are brief and overwhelming, and thus hard to describe, (2) in order to describe it one must also be able to remember a single orgasm and keep it separate from other orgasms one has experienced which she says is difficult, (3) orgasms are very different from one another, both between women, and in the same woman, and finally (4) that woman do not talk about orgasmic experience enough for women to have an idea of whether their experience of orgasm is different from other women’s experiences. (167-168).

          At each point, while she writes about these elements, she discusses her own personal experience with these things, as she experiences them in her sexual relations with her husband. She admits that, in focusing on her personal experiences with her husband, she is focusing only on sexual relations with men, and ignoring personal fantasy and masturbation-to-orgasm (176). She is also ignoring sex with women, though she doesn’t explicitly state that. In general, Pellauer frequently emphases that she wants a “multiplicity” of women’s stories, and that she does not speak for other women, cannot do so, and therefore does not universalize, focusing only on her own personal, individual experience. She stresses that she is a “1” on the Kinsey scale (very heterosexual), white, Lutheran, highly educated, and well-off financially, and that her (very privileged) experience cannot speak for all women (168).

      The Kinsey scale.

     Of course, this perspective is also the most commonly discussed narrative. In some ways, this is good, as she is right that her experience is not all women’s experience, and she shouldn’t assume that it is. However, I wished she had then done some research into other women’s experiences, so that she could speak to that, instead of just accepting that she can’t and leaving it at that, so she provide us with some useful answers to her questions and ideas.  Her own personal experiences alone, regardless of her background, really don’t tell us too much about women’s orgasmic experience in general (not even about all WASP straight women, as she focuses so strongly on details specific  to her as an individual), which is why I am not discussing them here- although when we write about the collection of individual narratives we’ve read, her perspective will of course be included.

        Some important statistics given this article: 10% of women, in 1990, had never experienced orgasm, and of the 90% that had, 50-70% did not have orgasms by “penile thrusting” alone (163). 23% of women who have orgasmed experienced their first orgasm before the age of fifteen, and 90% of the woman who have orgasmed, experienced their first orgasm before the age of thirty-five.

Orgasm Inc. - Medicalizing Sexual Pleasure

Orgasm Inc., the 2009 documentary, sets out on a journey that explores the intricate industry banking on Female Sexual Dysfunction. It aims to introduce the new gadgets and pharmaceuticals that guarantee sexual fulfillment, while exposing the risks and false communication of research results. This documentary brings together an unexplored market for Big Pharma, cultural gendered norms and women who fall victims of society's mores and customs regarding expression of sexuality. 

Front Cover of Documentary

An important first question raised by the film is the medicalization of orgasm (or lack thereof) - more specifically, where do we draw the line between normal and abnormal, "healthy" and "diseased. The medicalization of sexual pleasure is based on vague symptoms that are not necessarily signs of a dysfunction, but may be natural, temporary imbalances in the organism. The ability to orgasm is impaired by body image issues, psychological barriers or affections, a history of abuse or stress; moreover, a female's libido may be influenced by relationship problems (such as lack of communication), use of antidepressants or contraceptive pills and hysterectomies. The complex biological and psychological dynamics paint a more nuanced picture than what companies trying to capitalize on sexually-unfulfilled women convey in their black-and-white definitions of what an orgasm is.

Screenshot from Orgasm Inc.

Personally, the very definition of this disease is essential, as the construction of the Female Sexual Dysfunction allows companies and practitioners to engage in a battle of leading the development of "cures" and securing a strong market share for such products that claim to dramatically reduce lack of sexual pleasure. The competition for research, FDA approval and release is stiff, as the documentary portrays the efforts of businesses in the field. It is not a surprise that Big Pharma, one of the leading industries of the United States, encourages the aggressive promotion of its cures for sexual dysfunction. The United States are well-known for leading in terms of consumption of prescribed medication, so market estimates for products that guarantee orgasms surely appear optimistic enough for these companies.

Moreover, let's consider the linguistic implications of the Female Sexual Dysfunction. The language employed by companies and advocates of such products is constructed by associating lack of orgasms to a disease, something that is sick in the organism and is in need of a cure. The psychological effect of such language creates fear and confusion around women who are still trying to understand their sexual lives and may not have access to non-biased, accurate information.

Screenshot from Orgasm Inc.

 One of the experts interviewed, owner of "Good Vibrations" refers to the Female Sexual Dysfunction as the hysteria of our ages. A small historical analysis can point to the early 1900s as one essential moment in the medicalization of the orgasm - the hysteria epidemic (click here for an article on hysteria and the first vibrators).