Research - College Students and Sexual Pleasure

INTRO

A part of our project was doing our own sociological research at Clark University. We created a short survey to measure responses quantitatively and used convenience sampling in recruiting our participants. A link of the study and recruitment information were posted on Clark University groups on a social media service. The study was inspired by a similar study looking at determinants of sexual enjoyment and an article assessing the gender inequality in hook up culture. Receiving oral sex, a skilled partner and intimacy between partners helped women achieve orgasms more often (446, 448, 453). However, our current culture of hooking up is inequal, women are much more likely to give than to receive oral sex. They also have difficulty communicating their desires to partners in short term relationships. 

DATA

Our sample consisted of 79 participants: 73% women, 26% men, 1% transgender and 1% gender queer.

Most participants identified as heterosexual: 81% straight, 8% gay and lesbian, 8% bisexual, 2% pansexual, 1% queer.

88% engaged in sexual activities (oral, vaginal, anal, digital), 91% of those who are sexually active also engaged in sexual activities while in college

51% have been in long term relationships and 50% have been in short term relationships

In long term relationships: 63% experienced orgasms frequently, 100% valued their partner's experience and 84% valued their own experience

In short term relationships: only 31% experienced orgasms frequently, 81% valued their partner's experience and 72% valued their own experience

BARRIERS

There were several limitations to our study. Firstly, we lacked a qualitative component that could have gone more in depth about the experiences college students have. We could have conducted interviews, but we believed subjects would be reluctant in openly talking about their experiences to researchers who went to the same school. Confidentiality could be maintained, but participants might not feel comfortable discussing a taboo subject in such detail.

Another issue was the female skew we saw in participants. Our study was not aimed at the experiences of women only, but rather wanted to compare results across genders, sexual identities and orientations. Having a heavily female sample can give us more distribution in the data on women, but it also limits us by keeping all other groups in small proportions.

The sampling may also reflect issues. Since sexuality is such a taboo subject in many societies, it would not be a surprise if several students decided not to participate due to the subject matter of the survey. This discourages participants from making their behaviors and attitudes known for study.

Designing the study also posed problems when we were collecting data. Not agreeing on what a word or phrase means can provide inaccurate results that do not reflect the true image of the population, in this case, Clark University students. Terms such as relationship (long and short term) had to be clearly defined in the study. Short term relationships were considered to be shorter than a month and included hook ups and one night stands, long term relationships were those lasting for more than 6 months. 

CONCLUSIONS

The most surprising discovery is that both male and female participants seems to care more about the experience of their partner than their own. This may be due to not wanting to seem inexperienced. 

The data show what we have expected. Women experience fewer orgasms and give more than they get compared to men. Long term relationships allow women and men to experience more orgasms, more communication, less judgement, more giving and receiving and an increased value attached to sexual enjoyment. 

References

Armstrong, EA.; England, P.; Fogarty, ACK. Accounting for women's orgasm and sexual enjoyment in college hookups and relationships. American Sociological Review, 77(3), 435-462. 2012 

In Hookups, Inequality Still Reigns (Well In Hookups Inequality Still Reigns Comments)

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/11/11/women-find-orgasms-elusive-in-hookups/?_r=0

Self Help Literature Review

This article is a review of various sexuality self help books available on campus for students at Clark University. These five titles have been selected based on subject matter. 

Sex matters for women

The book talks about orgasms, discussing the tyranny of the orgasm which is placing the orgasm at the center of human sexuality (Foley and Kope, 304). The book advocates for self-exploration and communication, assessing the benefits of embracing one's sexuality.

“Culture greatly influences sexual learning. Anthropologists [...] have noted that women coming from cultures encouraging sexual exploration and assertiveness experience orgasm more readily and with greater satisfaction than women coming from cultures that encourage modest, passive behavior” (306).

In regards to socialization the book makes an interesting remark when talking about women being too self-conscious to experience an orgasm. The authors suggest women can find it difficult to act outside of their gender. Their perceived and learned passivity might make them refrain from certain behaviors, such as moaning, because the lack of self-control associated with orgasms makes them step out of the imposed behavior for women (307).

Virgin sex for girls, a no-regrets guide to safe and healthy sex

Language is an essential part of cultures across the globe; messages based in language, as well as other forms of communication, carry specific cultural ideas. An interesting point this book makes in one chapter is in regards to our use of language - "since men have so many more phrases for masturbation, it’s obvious that male masturbation is seen as more important and acceptable in our culture for men” (Luadzers,156)

Phrases for women include self touching/loving/stimulation/pleasuring, paddling the pink canoe, rubbing off, combing the clit, vibrating off

Phrases for men include jacking/jerking/beating/getting off, choking the chicken, spanking the money, beat the meat, flog the hog, relieving yourself, yanking the plank, bobbing the dolphin and many others (155).

The book is advocating that women realize their sexual potentials; they are encouraged to explore, to talk to their partners and are told that their sexual pleasure is important and given advice on how to increase the frequency of their orgasms. The male counterpart of this book, the Virgin sex for boys guide also focuses the discussion surrounding orgasms on the (assumed female) partner's pleasure and difficulties in achieving it. This may be because the experts recognize the disproportionately low rates of orgasmic response in females and by drawing attention to this matter they are educating couples on how to overcome this inequality in sexual pleasure.

Hooking up, a girl’s all-out guide to sex&sexuality

The book contains several personal anecdotes which help with connecting the reader and writer and establishing patterns for common experiences with female sexuality in hookup culture, the current cultural trend in young adults. 

The author tackles the issue of gendered shame in regards to sexual self-exploration - “when I was younger, I thought that there was something very wrong about masturbating. Every time I did it, I felt guilty, dirty, and ashamed. [...] when all of my guy friends started talking about how they masturbated, I kept my mouth shut” (Madison,44). 

Madison also hints at the linguistic gap in vocabularies and gendered expressions. “As a girl, it can be hard to talk about masturbation, even though many guys talk about it all the time. Maybe it’s easier for guys to talk about because they have eight thousand cool nicknames for masturbating.” (45) The language differences are reflective of cultural and social normative assertions about male and female sexuality. The society is, as Madison, states reluctant to talk about female masturbation; it is a bigger taboo than male masturbation in our culture (45).

Our reluctance to talk about female masturbation influences our perception of the process. Madison notes that our heteronormative ideas about sex make us believe female masturbation mimics penetrative intercourse (46).

Paradoxically, although female orgasms and masturbation are not socially acceptable, women are still expected to have or fake an orgasm. Most girls do not tell their partners they don't have orgasms because they fear that their partner will be frustrated and made to feel as a bad lover (46).

The good girl's guide to bad girl sex

The book begins with an anecdote of a young girl who is forced to display passive sexuality due to her gender "Do you want boys to think that you're loose? That you're cheap?" (Keesling, 5-6). However, the author proposes the model of the "bad girl", whose sexual pleasure is unbeatable "A fully evolved Bad Girl can have an epic sexual encounter in ten minutes, whereas a woman stuck in her Good Girl can have intercourse for an hour and still be left feeling unfulfilled" (10). The reader would gather from this introduction that the capacity to achieve orgasm under any circumstance is a matter of behavior. This assertion can promote self advocacy for women, but it also places a strong emphasis on always experiencing sexual pleasure. Women having inconsistent sexual experiences may feel as failures if they cannot manage to turn into a "Bad Girl" who is in charge of her sexuality.

The Bad Girl is declared as intensely orgasmic by Keesling (13).

The book continues to put the emphasis of sexual pleasure on women's capacity and responsibility to achieve. A chapter discusses Kegel exercises and explains a few routines. The author concludes by expressing her appreciation of Kegel exercises as they have "helped non-orgasmic women become orgasmic" (41).

One last discussion is on climaxing. The chapter begins with another personal anecdote - of a sexually dissatisfied woman (153). The chapter features 10 exercises with full explanations to maximize the potential for sexual pleasure and orgasms (157). It is interesting to note that 7 of the exercises are for women to practice on themselves and 3 for women to practice on men so that men may achieve orgasm, however there are no exercises any responsibility in the hands of men.

S.E.X., The all-you-need-to-know progressive sexuality guide to get you through high school and college

This work is highly praised by critics for being so comprehensive. Reading the sections on the "popular mechanics" of various sex acts, I decided to compare the sections on cunnilingus and fellatio. Comparing the two sections reveals some gendered ideas assumed by the author.

Firstly, the section on cunnilingus is shorter than than on fellatio. The section on cunnilingus gives specific, objective advice of what most women prefers and techniques (156). The tone is neutral, the information is factual. The section of fellatio is longer, assumes a more familiar tone and language and seems directly addressed to the female reader. While the section on cunnilingus seems to encourage the act, the section of fellatio has a passage addressing the myth that all men love receiving oral sex most of all (157). This specific passage is trying to educate women in thinking of oral sex as a practice that can be enjoyed by any and all genders (157). It is interesting that this note was included in the section with a female audience, while the section with the male audience did not address the gender disparity in performing and receiving oral sex. The general impression of the two sections is that men are not accustomed by performing cunnilingus on women, but most women have performed fellatio.

Reference:

• Corinna, Heather. S.E.X.: The All-you-need-to-know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You through High School and College. New York: Marlowe, 2007.
• Foley, Sallie, and Sally A. Kope. Sex Matters for Women: A Complete Guide to Taking Care of Your Sexual Self. New York: Guilford Press, 2002.
• Keesling, Barbara. The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex: An Indispensable Resource for Pleasure and Seduction. New York: M. Evans, 2001.
• Luadzers, Darcy. Virgin Sex for Girls: A No-regrets Guide to Safe and Healthy Sex. New York: Hatherleigh Press, 2006.
• Madison, Amber. Hooking Up: A Girl's All-out Guide to Sex & Sexuality. Amherst, N.Y.: Prometheus Books, 2006.

Social and Behavioral Constructions of Female Sexuality

This paper critiques some theories of sexuality that emerged in the second half of the 20th century.

KINSEY remains the most controversial and comprehensive source of information for female sexuality, however the authors note that male biases are present in the research (Miller and Fowlkes, 785). The issue with Kinsey's work is that it employs gendered double standards. While he is critical of the distinctions between female and male sexual activity which disproportionately inhibits "women's sexual activity outside of marriage", he does encourage coitus although it is significantly less frequently a source of orgasmic response for women (Miller and Fowlkes, 785). Although he acknowledges that penetrative sex is not that pleasurable for females, they are told to engage in it (both premarital and marital sex) to help the male reach his physiological response (785).

"A similar bias is revealed in Kinsey's interpretation of his finding that female sexual unresponsiveness is a major factor in women's premarital coital reluctance. A man, of course, may reach orgasm through coitus without doing much at all to arouse or stimulate response in his female partner. Rather than portraying men as the victims of women's unresponsiveness, it would be fairer to suggest that women may be victimized by men's self-interest and failure to show the consideration necessary to incorporate female orgasm into the coital experience." (785-6)

Another traditional bias he holds is stating that an orgasm cannot be the "sole criterion" for female pleasurable activity, as many women find satisfaction knowing their partner enjoyed the contact and that she "contributed to" his pleasure (786). This idea is very similar to the gynecology texts of the 1940s-1970s that maintained a male-oriented perspective with gendered biases in the field of female sexual and reproductive health.

Alfred Kinsey
http://static.businessinsider.com/image/5256ce91eab8ea6d5dbb7257/image.jpg

The works of MASTERS AND JOHNSON are also presented in this theoretical review. Their contribution to the field is highly significant because their laboratory tests helped recognize the clitoris as a vital part of the female sexual response (787). They described it as a "unique organ in the total of human anatomy. Its express purpose is to serve both as a receptor and transformer of sensual stimuli." (787). Therefore, the passive, sexually unresponsive, unorgasmic woman was equipped with a mechanism specialized solely on pleasure, while the man - the dominant gender in the equation of sexuality - was not. This discovery helped combat the myth of absolute female frigidity: women were not possessing a "lesser sexuality" (787). Moreover, their tests revealed the autonomy of female sexuality, women were experiencing a higher frequency of orgasmic response through "self-regulated mechanical or automanipulative technique" (787). However, the researchers are criticized for insisting that orgasms are the sole meaningful conclusion of a sexual contact, they fail to recognize the cultural importance of other behaviors expressing commitment and intimacy between partners (789).

The introduction of sexuality to the field of sociology would not have been possible without the work of GAGNON AND SIMON. They presented a social interactionist perspective on human sexual behavior which combats the narrow views of Kinsey, Masters and Johnson (789). According to Gagnon and Simon, sexual behavior is a subtype of social behavior and must be analyzed as such; they conclude that this behavior is learned (789). The degree of sexuality can be assessed by consulting the meaning assigned to behaviors "by the actors involved" (789). However, even their work has major setbacks, reflecting a male bias. Their view of adult sexuality emphasizing marriage is considered "limited in scope and shallow in content", not accounting for the inclusion of diversity of sexual expression (790).

Conclusions

The authors conclude by assessing the overall field of sexuality. They believe that a paradigm for female sexuality studies has yet to emerge, but that the studies presented and critiqued have created significant progress despite their limitations (800). The emerging literature helped dispel Freudian ideas about sexual development and reinforced the legitimacy of sexuality as a field of study (800).

References

Patricia Y. Miller and Martha R. Fowlkes, "Social and Behavioral Constructions of Female Sexuality"Vol. 5, No. 4, Women: Sex and Sexuality (pp. 783-800), Summer, 1980

A Sociological Sexuality Model

The paper starts by listing the critiques for popular human sexuality theories. Freud's theory is rejected for being too psychological in approach and being centered a specific time and place (early 20th century Vienna), Marxist perspectives do not follow because gender roles are not influenced exclusively by the mode of production, and sociobiological discoveries fail to account for cross-cultural differences noted by anthropologists (Reiss, 233). His view emphasizes comparative sociology and connections to cultural anthropology.

http://modernpsychologist.ca/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Sociobiology-Times.jpg

Having rejected there theoretical perspectives, the author constructs his own human sexuality model. His approach is at the macro-level, looking for patterns in aggregates, as micro-level interactions may contaminate the data since it wouldn't provide clear distinctions between separate categories (Reiss, 234). He then defines sex, gender role and sexuality as follows: sex is the genetic sex, gender role is what theorists referred to incorrectly as sex role-learned social behaviors, and sexuality is composed of "those cultural scripts aimed at erotic arousal that produce genitalia responses" (Reiss, 234). Furthermore, the process is not innate, but learned behavior (Reiss, 234).

Sexuality is important is all cultures as a process of human interactions; societies will either encourage or restrict it (Reiss, 235). However, the author does not think reproduction has a significant role in this cross-cultural interest in sexuality. Looking at nonindustrial cultures, he noted that becoming pregnant is not the center of sexuality, but rather the effect of a particular type of sexual interaction, "repetitive coitus with one's marriage partner", and raising children is a collective activity, not the independent responsibility of one woman (Reiss, 235).

http://en.slovoidilo.ua/uploads/news/7a941704bd72667a788eab044cbe4b24.png

Next, Reiss looks at ideology as the fundamental general perspective, "our ideological beliefs [...] promote our popular perspectives on sexual normality" (Reiss, 237). Opinion polls from the era suggest that women were much more in favor of economic, political, religious and social equality, but were not as accepting of equal sexual rights (Reiss, 237). On the other hand, men were accepting sexual equality, but were reluctant to embrace overall gender equality.

Reiss talks about the male premature ejaculation again. This time he compares it to the fact that a woman being able to achieve orgasms in a short amount of time is praised for being responsive and her orgasm can help her male partner feel like an adequate lover (Reiss, 238).

Reference:
Ira L. Reiss, "A Sociological Journey into Sexuality" Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 48, No. 2 (pp. 233-242) , May, 1986

Ideology, Sociology, Sexuality

Reiss's paper analyzes the origin and relation of certain ideas concerning sexuality.

Firstly, he discusses biological differences, based on hormones and states that androgen is related to aggressiveness and sexual motivation and is more present in males than females (Reiss, 273). While the average male has more androgen, there are many differences within sex categories. Also, learning behaviors can alter our hormonal tendencies, showing that in this case nurture wins over nature (Reiss, 273).

Discussing normative behavior, the author analyzes a series of cultural phenomena present in our society.

http://www.joshreads.com/images/09/11/i091123shoe.gif

He chooses to start his discussion with the issue of premature ejaculation, noting that our construction of the word references the female orgasm as the central one since the male ejaculation is said to be achieved before this culturally imposed standard (Reiss, 276). The author notes that some South African, male-dominated societies do not have this concept of premature ejaculation. Further on, he asks why the typical response from therapists for men who encountered premature ejaculation isn't to tell them to "bring the female to orgasm orally or manually"(Reiss, 276). He suggests that our current sexual ideology focuses on penetrative, heterosexual intercourse that reinforces traditional sexuality .(Reiss, 276). According to him, our culture is aimed at promoting the male orgasm more than the female orgasm (Reiss, 276). The man is the one who directs the sexual encounters, who initiates, who decides within our cultural sex ideology (Reiss, 276). These hegemonic ideas pressure our bodies, behaviors and attitudes into conforming roles (Reiss, 278).

Our sexual history maintains the myth of absolute virginity, especially during the Puritan period, however, data shows that the a large number of people, men and women, engaged in premarital sex

(Reiss, 278). Male nonvirginity is rarely celebrated and in almost all known cultures most of the males reaching the age of physical maturity are not virgins (Reiss, 278). This has been influenced by men's position of authority in society. Their access to power allowed them to define a sexual code at their advantage, with cultural practices and beliefs enforced by socialization and enculturation. 

In the conclusion of his article, Reiss talks about the clash of two opposing ideologies in 1980s American society. Traditional Romantic ideology, emphasizing female sexual subservience and inferiority, is opposing the Modern-Naturalistic view that embraces gender equality and values sexual experiences of both men and women in various expressions (Reiss, 280). He notes that while tolerance and equality in sex were increasing, this ideology of acceptance and equality was not in a dominant position in society, hence unable to change the status quo (Reiss, 281).

Reference: 

Ira L. Reiss, "Some Observations on Ideology and Sexuality in America" Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 43, No. 2 (pp. 271-283), May, 1981

Women in Gynecology Textbooks

The Scully and Bart piece published in 1973 analyses 27 gynecology texts written from 1943 to 1972 by looking at the viewpoint presented. The scholars conclude that the literature remains oriented towards maintaining the male-dominated, traditional views of sexuality despite the revolutionary findings of Kinsey, Masters and Johnson (Scully and Bart, 1048). Overall, ideas of the centrality of motherhood in women's lives persists, while men as defined by their active sexual responses and desires.

The authors note that "one's perspectives are constrained by one's place in the social structure and thus gynecologists may not adequately represent the interests of the group they are supposed to attend and advocate" (Scully and Bart, 1045). An overwhelming majority of male practitioners would mean that the field lacks a female perspective on what is a female health issue.  Considering that 40 years ago, when this article was published, over 90% of gynecologists were male, it is not hard to imagine that their academic writings on the subject reflected their male perspectives and portrayed female sexuality in a way that maintained traditional sex-role stereotypes (Scully and Bart, 1045). 

MOTHERHOOD
Gynecology texts from 1943 to 1972 revolve around the idea that women as "anatomically destined to reproduce, nurture" (Scully and Bart, 1045). One text refers to the experience of motherhood as an "urge" (Scully and Bart, 1046). This biological explanation is used to define the role of females in a very strict way which does not allow for possible deviant behaviors and attitudes. In the medical literature, the natural inclination for motherhood is balanced by sexual pleasure, considered "entirely secondary or even absent" (Scully and Bart, 1046). In other words, the automatic, biological female response is seeking motherhood, while sexual response is not important or present as women as frigid.

FRIGIDITY
The texts dating from this period assume that women are "almost universally generally frigid" (Scully and Bart, 1046). Their role in sexual health is defined as constricted to motherhood, while men are defined as active and pursuing their sexual drives. This was done, in the case of women, by reporting that the vagina was the main erogenous zone, even after Kinsey debunked the myth of vaginal orgasms (Scully and Bart, 1047). The vagina was considered the "mature response", while the role of the clitoris was greatly diminished and linked to immaturity and frigidity (Scully and Bart, 1047). This generalized female sexual unresponsiveness, the passivity, was for some authors part of the core of the female personality (Scully and Bart, 1048). The construction of the myth of female frigidity was in opposition to the active male sex, who had an insatiable appetite for intercourse (Scully and Bart, 1046).

MALE SEXUAL DRIVE
These texts in a woman-oriented field claimed that women are biologically designed to keep their husbands happy, they are to at the control of their male counterparts (Scully and Bart, 1045). Sexually, women are frigid, unable to perceive or care about pleasure, but men have a much greater appetite and capacity for intercourse. So, their sexual contacts already have a paradoxical nature, however they were greatly encouraged. Gynecologists were told to suggest that patients, unresponsive in nature, should deceive their partners by using innocent simulation (Scully and Bart, 1046). Faking sexual interest or an orgasm was part of making your husband happy. 

"The frequency of intercourse depends entirely upon the male sex drive ... The bride should be advised to allow her husband's sex drive to set their pace and she should attempt to gear hers satisfactorily to his."(Scully and Bart, 1048).

This was advice given to young women in 1970, a time was less than 30% of women had premarital sex (CDC, 1991). Men were described in the literature as wanting to dominate and subjugate women(Scully and Bart, 1048). It means that the submissive behavior was natural, but for women it was also learned behavior, as a means of social control. The norm was that women had to adapt to the male response their husbands exhibited or else there was a "real [medical] problem" (Scully and Bart, 1048).

INTENTIONAL SELECTIVITY
The article notes the rigidity in textbooks along the studied decades. After Kinsey, Masters and Johnson made their discoveries in human sexuality, most textbooks cherry-picked the data to present their points of view. Result? Most books included some details pertaining to male sexuality, but failed to include any of the discoveries on female sexuality such as the myth of the vaginal orgasm or the existence of female multiple orgasms (Scully and Bart, 1047). This level of selectivity of results leads the authors to characterize the general tone of gynecology literature as having a male bias (Scully and Bart, 1048). The evidence does indeed point to severe opposition to change in mentalities concerning human sexuality. Women's sexuality is barely researched and discussed, although the lack of knowledge can be detrimental for public health. 

FOREVER MALE FIELD?
The article dates back from 1973 and we are seeing changes. While almost two thirds of ob-gyn doctors are male, the majority of those training are women.The increased supply of female doctors can benefit research and policy making by bringing a new perspective and patients can feel like their doctors can empathize with them. However, the current demand for ob-gyn doctors is skewed towards the female applicants, their male counterparts feel unwelcome in a job market that is searching for female doctors.  http://www.nytimes.com/2001/02/07/us/women-s-health-is-no-longer-a-man-s-world.html


RELATION TO ORGASMS
The literature has changed from the 1970s, but many of these deeply embedded beliefs have carried over to this generation, some have turned into other forms of controlling and underplaying female sexuality. Female orgasms are not discussed, are considered nonexistent, unimportant. The problem with medical literature that is not accurate is that is reinforces gendered social behaviors and attitudes, instead of objective results. Beliefs and stereotypes are heavily used used in social interactions, thus it is no surprise that these are some of the most popular ideas in regards to female orgasms we currently hold seem to stem back from a few generations ago  http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health-pictures/dr-laura-berman-top-10-female-orgasm-myths.aspx#01



Reference:
Scully, Diana, and Pauline Bart. "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Orifice: Women in Gynecology Textbooks." In American Journal of Sociology, 1045-1050. Jan. 1973 ed. Vol. 78. University of Chicago Press.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 

Current Trends Premarital Sexual Experience Among Adolescent Women -- United States, 1970-1988. 1991

 http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00001869.htm

Reproduce “4 Orgasms Every Woman Should Have"

You gotta love routines. They get you out of the house in the morning or into the gym at the end of the day. But relying on a routine to get off in bed? Not so sweet. Here's why: There's more than one blissed-out, body-tingling way to a happy ending, and the more paths you travel, the more exciting sex will be (and stay). According to a recent study published in the journalNeuroQuantology, there are four distinct types of female orgasm (clitoral, vaginal, blended, or multiple orgasms). You should try them all—starting tonight.

Clitoral Orgasm
You know the external sweet spot is highly sensitive, thanks to the 8,000 nerve endings that congregate there. And if you're like most women, it's the go-to point of stimulation to send you over the edge. But according to Sari Cooper, a certified sex therapist in New York City and a columnist forPsychology Today, heading straight to the clitoris gives you a less pleasurable orgasm than if your partner touches, caresses, or massages other parts of your genitals before he homes in on that hot spot.
Techniques to try: "Have him make big circles with his fingers that include the shaft, labia, and upper part of the clitoral hood," says Cooper. He can do this as foreplay or while you're in a spooning position during intercourse. If you feel like switching to oral, have him approach your clitoris indirectly by lying perpendicular to you.
Increase your chances: Try having him use a fingertip vibrator like the Hello Touch Wearable Fingertip Vibrator ($65, jimmyjane.com). The more vocal you are about the speed, intensity, and pressure you prefer, the better the end result will be. Also, you're going to want to read this: The Easiest Way to Have an Orgasm.

Vaginal Orgasm
Though there is still some debate as to whether the G-spot exists, 30 percent of women claim they can have a big O from having the famous erogenous zone stimulated through penetration alone.
Techniques to try: First, locate the hot zone. On a solo night, explore the front wall of your vagina with your finger until you feel an area that's rippled and spongy in texture. Touching it directly should feel pretty darn good. Then, during intercourse, have your man target his thrusting there. Try lying on your sides while facing each other, with your legs intertwined comfortably—think of two pairs of crisscrossed scissors. Keep your parts aligned and make sure his rubs against the front wall of your vagina. "This position allows for deeper thrusts that further stimulate the G-spot," says Cooper.
Increase your chances: Achieving vaginal orgasm is more likely the longer the sex lasts, according to a study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. Aim for about 15 minutes and, if it works for you, switch sex positions often. "This reduces the chance of your man 'closing the deal' too soon and helps your body experience new and fresh sensations," says Michael Alvear, author of Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat. A warming lubricant can also help; try glycerin-free, water-based Pink Hot Pink Warming Lubricant for Women ($14.36, pinkapple.com).

Blended Orgasm
Experts say a combined clitoral and vaginal orgasm is the most powerful finale (it can be twice as strong and intense as either orgasm is by itself). "You're getting the best of both worlds," explains Cynthia Lief Ruberg, a certified sex therapist in Columbus, Ohio.
Techniques to try: The girl-on-top position is popular for a reason—it's perfect for the double-whammy finish. But you can also try sitting on your partner's lap facing away from him (he can stimulate your clitoris while you control the thrusting). Or, for a twist on missionary, have your guy inch his body up so your hips are aligned, and tilt your pelvis upward so that the base of his penis is on your clitoris but the rest of him is inside you. "In this position, he's not really thrusting up and down, but rather grinding against your pelvic bone," says Ruberg.
Increase your chances: "A blended orgasm is easier if the woman becomes very aroused before she has intercourse," says Ruberg. Go full throttle with foreplay—lots of kissing, touching, licking, and massaging all over your bodies—and if you feel your enthusiasm waning during intercourse, go back to the heavy petting. To help your partner out a bit, tell him or her to bust out these 10 Sex Tips for Your Top Erogenous Zones All Over Your Body. (Then maybe repay the favor with these 10 Sex Tips for HIS Top Erogenous Zones!)

Multiple Orgasms
To be clear, multiple orgasms happen one right after the next, not at different times in one session (although those are great too). Studies show that multiple orgasms are possible for some women if they can withstand being continuously stimulated after their first (and second and. . .) "finishes."
Techniques to try: Starting in foreplay, have your guy get you to your first clitoral climax using his hands or mouth (or a vibrator). Immediately afterward, he should continue to stimulate your C-spot in a slower manner for about 30 seconds, and then resume a normal pace to get you to a repeat performance. "He's playing with your level of arousal from a heightened orgasmic state by giving your erogenous area a rest, as it may be overly sensitive to stimulation, and then increasing arousal again," says Amy Levine, a sex coach in New York City and founder ofIgniteYourPleasure.com. From there, begin intercourse, which can lead to multiple vaginal or blended orgasms, using the same technique of slowing down and speeding up, as long as you keep the stimulation going and your arousal high.
Increase your chances: If you're feeling too sensitive, ask him to continue stroking your clitoris over a buffer like a soft silk camisole or panties, or have him switch his focus to your breasts and nipples. Cooper says touching these after climax can push some women to yet another O. (Anipplegasm? True thing, and nothing routine about that.)

"Social Construction Theory: Problems in the History of Sexuality", Homosexuality, Which Homosexuality?"

Social construction theory in the field of sexuality suggested that one of the last remaining outposts of the “natural” in our thinking was fluid and changeable, the product of human action and history rather than the invariant result of the body, biology or an innate sex drive.Social construction theory has become the influential, some charge orthodox, framework in the new sex history. It has generated enthusiasm, which make it all the more necessary to identify and explore current problems in social construction(160)

For all of us, essentialism was our first way of thinking about sexuality and still remains the hegemonic one in the culture. Only those who depart from the dominant system have cause to label themselves; those who work within it remain more unselfconscious.Construction theory is committed to asking the questions and to challenging assumptions which impair our ability to even imagine these questions. Construction theory is against premature closure, and its price is tolerating ambiguity. (161)

Social construction approaches call attention to the paradox between the historically variable ways in which culture and society construct seemingly stable reality and experience: here, the ways in which the prevailing sexual system seems natural and inevitable to its natives, and for many individuals the expression of some deeply felt essence.(161)

Sexuality is constructed at the level of culture and history through complex interactions which we are now trying to understand does not mean that individuals have an open-ended ability to construct themselves, or to reconstruct themselves multiple times in adulthood.(162) At minimum, all social construction approaches adopt the view that physically identical sexual acts may have varying social significance and subjective meaning depending on how they are defined and understood in different cultures and historical periods. Some social construction theory posits that even the direction sexual desire itself.(163)

The most radical form of constructionist theory is willing to entertain the idea that there is no essential, undifferentiated sexual impulse, “sex drive” or “lust”, which resides the body due to physiological functioning and sensation.(163)

The intellectual history of social construction is a complex one, The point of briefly noting a few moments in its history here is simply to illustrate that social construction theorists and writers differ in their willingness to imagine what was constructed.(164)Many other social constructionists assume that specific, core behaviors and physical relations are reliably understood as sexual, even though they occur in diverse cultures or historical periods. The often implicit assumptions about the sexual nature of physical acts or relations depend in turn on deeply embedded cultural frameworks that we use to think about the body. Social construction’s greatest strength lies in its violation  of our folk knowledge and scientific ideologies that would frame sexuality as “natural”, determined by biology and the body.(165)

Social constructionists do not grapple with theoretical issues about degrees of social construction, the object of study, or the meaning of the body in a vacuum. The new sex history is indebted to feminism and gay liberation for many of its insights, for non-academic settings which nurtured this work during the early states of its development when the university disapproved, and for its intellectual urgency. Variability, subjectivity, negotiation and change often violated the wish for a continuous history.(167)

In contrast, the social constructionist framework common in lesbian and gay history has become disseminated to a larger lesbian and gay public. (168)All movements of sexual liberation, including lesbian and gay, are built on imagining:imagining that things could be different, other, better than they are. Social construction shares that imaginative impulse and thus is not a threat to the lesbian and gay movement, but very much of it(169)

Female Orgasms: Myths and Facts

There are several myths regarding orgasm. These myths can sometimes cause problems for women and their partners.

Myth:

An orgasm is always an earth-moving experience and there is something wrong with a woman if she is unable to reach orgasm.

Fact:

Some women have orgasms and don’t know it. Some women do not experience orgasm in the sense of feeling their pelvic floor muscles contract. They do however reach a peak of arousal after which they feel very relaxed and contented, the same feelings other women experience after orgasm. By contrast, women who get very aroused and do not experience orgasm will sometimes feel “nervous” or “edgy” or even an aching discomfort in their pelvis.

Myth:

“Normal” women reach orgasm through intercourse.

Fact:

Only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse. A third can reach orgasm with intercourse but need extra stimulation. A third never achieve orgasm during intercourse but can by manual and oral stimulation. Having orgasms by means other than intercourse is a normal variation of female sexuality. In the past, people thought that “mature” women had their orgasms with intercourse; you will sometimes run across an older book that has this view. However, laboratory studies in the 1960’s showed that an orgasm is an orgasm no matter which way you obtain it. How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity.

Myth:

Inability to reach orgasm, or anorgasmia means a woman is “frigid” or that there is something seriously wrong with her or her relationship.

Fact:

Women who were able to have orgasms in the past but can no longer do so may be suffering from a medical problem or a side effect from medication.

Women who have never had an orgasm may never have learned what type and duration of stimulation they need.

Myth:

If a woman cannot reach orgasm, then her partner is not a skillful lover.

Fact:

While there are many ways a loving partner can help a woman reach orgasm, in the end, a woman is responsible for her own sexual pleasure. That does not mean her partner should not be involved. Communication between partners is very important. It is up to the woman to inform her partner her likes and dislikes in their love making.

Myth:

A woman has to have an orgasm in order to enjoy sex. This myth seems to be more common among men than among women.

Fact:

Many women enjoy the closeness and physical intimacy of sex and are satisfied even if they do not, or do not always, have an orgasm.

source from The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists