Female Orgasms: Myths and Facts

There are several myths regarding orgasm. These myths can sometimes cause problems for women and their partners.

Myth:

An orgasm is always an earth-moving experience and there is something wrong with a woman if she is unable to reach orgasm.

Fact:

Some women have orgasms and don’t know it. Some women do not experience orgasm in the sense of feeling their pelvic floor muscles contract. They do however reach a peak of arousal after which they feel very relaxed and contented, the same feelings other women experience after orgasm. By contrast, women who get very aroused and do not experience orgasm will sometimes feel “nervous” or “edgy” or even an aching discomfort in their pelvis.

Myth:

“Normal” women reach orgasm through intercourse.

Fact:

Only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse. A third can reach orgasm with intercourse but need extra stimulation. A third never achieve orgasm during intercourse but can by manual and oral stimulation. Having orgasms by means other than intercourse is a normal variation of female sexuality. In the past, people thought that “mature” women had their orgasms with intercourse; you will sometimes run across an older book that has this view. However, laboratory studies in the 1960’s showed that an orgasm is an orgasm no matter which way you obtain it. How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity.

Myth:

Inability to reach orgasm, or anorgasmia means a woman is “frigid” or that there is something seriously wrong with her or her relationship.

Fact:

Women who were able to have orgasms in the past but can no longer do so may be suffering from a medical problem or a side effect from medication.

Women who have never had an orgasm may never have learned what type and duration of stimulation they need.

Myth:

If a woman cannot reach orgasm, then her partner is not a skillful lover.

Fact:

While there are many ways a loving partner can help a woman reach orgasm, in the end, a woman is responsible for her own sexual pleasure. That does not mean her partner should not be involved. Communication between partners is very important. It is up to the woman to inform her partner her likes and dislikes in their love making.

Myth:

A woman has to have an orgasm in order to enjoy sex. This myth seems to be more common among men than among women.

Fact:

Many women enjoy the closeness and physical intimacy of sex and are satisfied even if they do not, or do not always, have an orgasm.

source from The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists